I’m turning 39 this year, unmarried, and obvs no children.

Every year, I’ve a few married friends and relatives asking me (ALWAYS from women) –
“When are you getting married?”
“Don’t you want to start a family?”
“You’re not a woman until you have a baby or two.”

When I tell people that I don’t want to have kids, a lecture almost always follows about how I’ll change my mind and all the arbitrary reasons I need to have children.

Some are like, “It’s okay to wait till you’re ready” like they are giving me permission to take some time for myself before I have to have kids.

I don’t run around asking single mums when they are getting married and tell them why they should be married.
I don’t ask parents of bratty kids when they are going to teach their children some manners and tell them how their kids are going to become worthless adults because theirs are bad parents.

So… why do people insist on asking me when I’m having children, then tell me, my choice is wrong like they have some say in the matter?

I’m not going to apologise for my choices and certainly not fitting the norm. And if my choices mean I’ll lose you as a friend, so be it. Because, clearly, you were never meant to be in my life. And I’m fine with that.



*Photo by Brett Sayles from Pexels

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  1. The Man Called Unkel

    That is the norm. Everyone wants you to conform to what society expects of you. My advice, be what you want to be. Follow your own path, needs and wants.