For a long while, my life was about aggressively working towards elevating myself – a high position in an International company (got it, hated it), casual relationships (fun, but felt alone at the end of the day), a beautiful apartment (comfy but it wasn’t home, if that makes sense). All this to be liked, loved, appreciated, respected by family, friends, and acquaintances.

As days went by, I was sinking deeper and deeper into the unknown. I felt like a robot – I was doing the same thing, day in, day out. I definitely lost even more of myself along the way. I’ve lost faith in my religion and in having a meaningful relationship long before that.

Years later, I started therapy. I also came across the symbol for the journey to enlightenment; it’s a cluster fuck of squiggles, because there is no straight or “right” direction to spiritual awakening. And through therapy I learned the need to fall back in love with myself.

How do you fall in love with your life and yourself?

SELF CARE.

Eating right. I need to be stricter with my diet – I’ve family history of heart problems, diabetes, high cholesterol – you name it. Lately, it’s been lots of greens and meat. That’s good, but… ditching processed/sugar-infested deliciousness is so HARD!

Exercise. I left my gym life A LONG TIME AGO. Since I moved here, my form of exercise is a lot of walking. I’m looking forward to summer coz I definitely want to swim more.

Be kind. TO YOURSELF. I’m so good at criticising myself so being kind to myself is tough af. I’m doing it though, I’m getting there. Being kind to others is important too. I’m actually kinder to other people than I am with myself. So… yeah, this defo needs to be a priority.

Meditate. Learn to sit quietly with yourself. Hahaha – rather unachievable for me in the past, but lately, it seems to work. The noise and voices in my head are not as noisy. I’m still working on this, but it’s good so far.

Enjoy NOW. Right this moment. It’s not a cliche; it’s totes relevant and crucial, and it’s not easy to practice but you gotta keep going.

If you’re in similar situation, I hope this post will remind you that you can do it.
No matter how hard it is, just keep going.
Just keep going AT YOUR OWN PACE.

 

*Photo by Valeria Boltneva from Pexels

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