Before I go any further, let me explain what “ghosting” means (in case you’ve never heard of it before). “Ghosting” occurs when a significant individual in your life completely falls off the face of the earth – without any explanation, word, apology, reason, et al.

That said, I’ve been ghosted THREE TIMES in my entire existence on this planet. TWICE by the same person (Guy A) – how I got myself in the same situation the second time, I have no idea.

Guy A was my best friend. We dated for two years and after we broke up, I completely severed my ties with him. However, a year down the road, he contacted me. and  I thought it wouldn’t be a bad idea to become friends. We became the best of friends, and did a lot of things together until one day, he just went completely radio silent on me.

My pride prevented me from seeking an explanation from him, although I was so very tempted to call and find out why.

Two years later, out of the blue, he called and acted as if he never left me. It turned out that he was seeing someone that didn’t quite like the idea of us being “best friends”. He could have just told me that back then! It would have only taken a minute to explain and I would have been fine. Really.

They were still seeing each other at the time, but he needed my opinion on a myriad of things (because his girlfriend “just doesn’t get me”), and thought it wouldn’t be that bad of an idea to get hold of me, and continued with the friendship. I missed him so much, so I caved in and continued where we left off.

We grew much closer and I shared everything with him – the move abroad, new environment, new cat, new family, getting engaged, and so on. I moved back home, and we met up and it was one of the best days of my life. Long story short, I got to know a girl from work, and we became fast friends. I thought to myself, it would be great to introduce Guy A to Girl and what do you know, they hit off and I was ecstatic about it!

Two weeks after they started dating, he ghosted me for the second time. I was so flabbergasted. Friends asked why wouldn’t I want to know why, thing is – I couldn’t be bothered because it happened for the second time. I found out now that the Girl didn’t want me to be part of their relationship and/or in his life. Threatened, much?

——

Guy B was someone I met through friends, and we hit it off immediately. Eight years younger than me, he was intelligent, caring, loving, and sophisticated. We spent time together reading, watching movies, texted one another extensively, and partying until the wee hours of the morning. He was at my beck and call (and I liked that a lot!), was so good with words, and his sarcasm was up to par,  and after a month or so, I fell for him (knowing that nothing serious would come out of the situationship).

Yup, you guessed it – suddenly, he stopped texting me. Messages from me would be read but not replied. I kept my cool, held my head up, and refrained from reaching out for an explanation. I certainly never declared my deep feeling of love for him, but definitely saw him as someone who was very significant in my life. Often, I wondered why his texts stopped cold. Did I act in such a way that turned him off? Did I say something wrong? Was I needy?

So many questions and scenarios played in my head, but I didn’t want to lose my pride by asking him why he stopped calling and texting. It did my head in for a while, because he was such a genuine and nice guy (or so I thought).

I never found out why, not even through his friends that I still talk to until today. In fact, just a few months ago, we bumped into each other at a local club, and I acted as if we never had a thing. Although I had my RBF on full-mode, he did come up to me and exchanged pleasantries, but that was it. Nothing more.

What I learned through this is that their sudden disappearance had nothing to do with me – knowing that they are the type of people to up and disappear whenever they want is enough to make me realise it was the nicest thing they could have done to/for me.

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